I woke up this morning a little earlier than regularly and my mind started the usual worrying cycle about the future: will I earn enough money, will I have food on the table, is my business going in the right direction etc.
With this mindset there was no way I could work on my Op. 69 this morning because worry breeds from fear and fear paralyzes creativity. Luckily I also knew the easy way out - simply taking action.
Sure enough, when I fired up my computer and opened the draft of the score I was going to work on my worry disappeared. I was no longer concerned about money, food or the direction my business is taking. I knew that if I keep being generous and provide value, I will increase my customer’s trust. And trust is everything. It will make or break anyone’s business.
So I felt calm and ready to do my work. It doesn’t have to be long but 15 minutes of focused and intense creativity is a good start. During that time I worked on the first half of the piece and after those 15 minutes it felt good.
It felt good to start my morning creatively despite my initial resistance and worry. It felt good to get a little closer to my goal of creating 200 opuses.
By the way, the same happened to me yesterday when I was planning to go to a gym. Again, my mind was in a fearful state before this but once I drove there, changed my clothes and climbed on the treadmill I felt calmness again.
Sort of reassurance that it’s going to be OK. One way or the other it’s going to be OK, I know that. As the past experiences showed me, my worse case scenario is probably 10 times as worse as it would be in reality so I know my mind is playing tricks on me.
It does all of this to distract me from the things that truly matter to me - from creating. And sometimes I give in to this distraction, sometimes I postpone my creative activities.
But I also know a simple but magical cure - taking action. Doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, vacuuming the floor, working out, taking a walk, sight-reading on the organ, improvising, drawing Pinky and Spiky comic strip, writing a blog post.
I was drawing the above comic strip in the church while listening to rather boring presentation about our Culture Center at Vilnius University. This way I could amuse myself... The squiggle monsters were the first ones I ever drew back in 2015 after a big break since 7th grade.
These actions are for me. What are the actions that help defeat your worries and fears?
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Drs. Vidas Pinkevicius and Ausra Motuzaite-Pinkeviciene
Organists of Vilnius University , creators of Secrets of Organ Playing.
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