Woodworm

2/29/2016

I believe woodworm has a perfect pitch.

Why else would he seem to like the bass B pipe of my house organ? Not the tenor C, not the bass B flat, just B. I remember having heard those squeaking 1' sounds he made regularly. I bet these were B's too.

It has a name. It's called Common Furniture Beetle - Anobium Punctatum. Such a royal name, isn't it?

Life must be tough on them since grown up beetles don't feed, they just reproduce, only their larvae feed on wood.

"Kids, dinner's ready!"
"Won't you join us, Mom?"
"No, I'm not hungry."
"Go ahead and eat your B pipe. It's good for you."
"Can we have the B flat instead?"
"No, it sounds 25 Hz lower - it will increase your cholesterol."

Ausra thinks woodworm is a punishment for my care for all living things (except eight-legged ones) since I would take flies or other insects outside instead of crushing them right there.

"It doesn't matter that there's 20 degrees Celsius below freezing. You're not dyeing from my hand tonight."

I intended to get rid of them at first with Permethrin but then I wondered, if there's a more artistic way to do it. Since they seem to be so musically inclined , maybe I should play something in a mode they don't like. That worked for homeless and junkies in one of the public places in the US, right? Maybe Anobium Punctatum would pack their things and leave voluntarily?

"Hurry up kids! Let's go to that wooden storage house they have next door where we won't hear them play in the ugly Locrian mode - it creates neither major nor minor chords."