Two ways to get what you want

The first way is to amplify fear.

Calling a person on the phone to ask her to do something and remind her of the favor you have done for her in the past. Sending an email to someone without having permission and trust to do so. Talking with an employee in a way that would remind him that I'm in charge here.

The second way is to amplify passion.

Giving an example by leading and watching other people grow. Stepping forward and volunteering when everybody around you says "it's hopeless" or "it's stupid". Giving that kid support he needs and showing faith in him even though our natural response would be to punish him for what he has done wrong.

The problem with the first way is that you sometimes can get what you want, but you won't get respect and trust from this person. You would steal his dignity this way.

The beauty with the second way is that you and the person you interact with will both change from this interaction for the better. You would increase his humanity.

You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want (Zig Ziglar).