When somebody is telling us words that upset our inner dragons, our instinct is to defend ourselves, to fire back, and to teach this person a lesson - just as he/she expects.
Unfortunately this rarely works - this person is also facing his/her own inner dragons, and firing back will only fuel this downward spiral of cat-and-mouse game.
A more fruitful (and difficult) way to deal with this situation would be to process our reaction so that we could surprise our critic and catch him/her off guard.
We say "thank you" and get back to (our) work.
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Drs. Vidas Pinkevicius and Ausra Motuzaite-Pinkeviciene
Organists of Vilnius University , creators of Secrets of Organ Playing.
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