Now that I've written about how to deal with criticism, it's probably fare to discuss a little the issue of how to criticize someone in a way that the person you are criticizing will feel inclined to agree with you and to be compelled to take action on what you said.
It's so tempting to say everything we think the person did wrong but in reality, if you want to get a positive response, you have to consider another way.
Here are a couple of questions you might want to ask yourself before criticizing someone:
1. What is the worldview of this person? What does he/she believe in? What is important to him/her? What is this person afraid of?
2. How do you approach this person in a way that he/she trusts you and your criticism?
Unless you answer these two questions, there isn't going to be an agreement between the both of you.
At the heart of all interactions is trust. So how do you amplify it?
The answer is simple but not easy to admit:
You have to help a person to realize his/her dreams. Then your criticism will not be seen as a negative but as a positive. In fact, this person will be glad you cared enough and took the time to say something to him/her.
Sure, you can amplify fear and some people will listen to you. But they won't be glad they did. Amplifying fear takes their dignity away.
It's far more productive and effective to amplify passion instead.
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Drs. Vidas Pinkevicius and Ausra Motuzaite-Pinkeviciene
Organists of Vilnius University , creators of Secrets of Organ Playing.
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