False caring

Check, if you are the person who would rather mean "do what I say" instead of "figure it out", "this is the right way" instead of "use your best judgement", "because I said so" instead of "thank you for doing work that matters", "this better work" instead of "here is another opportunity to fail", "change is frightening - we should do as little of it as possible" instead of "learn where to put the uncomfortable so that you could reach your potential".

Thinking about it is the first step to get out of this circle.