If you look back several years ago at your organ practice experience and success charts what will you see?
A steadily inclining line (every year is better than the last)?
A lot of zigs and zags perhaps?
Or even a steadily declining line?
The funny thing is that no matter how lost you are, now matter how unfocused your organ playing efforts might have been, you can change all of that. You can change the expectations you have about yourself and the expectations others have about you by making a leap today.
First, choose to make a difference. Then, do the work.